Aaarrrrgggg...

I think I have reached my limit. I think I am to the point that I am either going to start biting off heads or just not talk. Quite frankly, neither of those options sounds appealing to me.

And what, pray tell, am I talking about? I am tired of trying to say something and be cut off in mid sentence. I am tired of being asked a question and while answering, being cut off, interrupted or talked over. I am tired of telling a story and being snapped at or, again, cut off before I finish my thought. I am tired of having to fight to be able to uphold my end of an allegedly two way conversation.

And by whom do I feel so frustrated? My family, in-laws, physical therapist, coworkers, clients... Could it be me? Sure, I could accept that, but during most conversations? But let me lay out my thoughts to help you understand what I am thinking.

Do I have anything important to say? Probably not anymore than the next person, but casual conversation rarely necessitates one to say anything important. But I do have thoughts, feelings and questions about the topic, of you don't want me to say anything, you're best off not talking to me as I perceive conversation as a two way street.

Do I have incredible stories to tell? Again, probably not anymore than the next person, but I do have stories about my experience in life - JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. I have never been good at small talk, but I make the best effort I can. Yet, if I have to listen to the recap of your day, complaints and giggles alike, why don't you have to listen to my boring ass stories?

Do I have interests on subjects most people don't? Yep. But that doesn't mean my stories, thoughts or ideas are any less valid because either you don't understand what I am talking about or you don't care about the subject. If I don't care about what your story I still try to be empathetic towards you, but not necessarily your drama. If I don't understand, I ask questions; I don't say 'whatever' or just ignore what you are saying (unless is it the same thing over and over).

So, while I don't enjoy small talk type conversation for the most part, I do understand the ground rules. Maybe I am frustrated by those who prefer an A conversation verses an A-B conversation. I like to be talked to, not talked at. I find even less interest in that than chit-chat itself.

And then I arrive at this thought: If people don't want to listen to what I say, what the hell makes me think they will really want to read what I write?

I guess it is a good thing 90% of why I write is of intrinsic value.