Surprising Myself

Late last week, I was looking over a few posts I placed on HubPages.com and found it interesting that my writings that have to do with spirituality and Buddhist thought were well received, viewed more than I had expected. I began to think about my writing, my enjoyment in writing fiction, but also my efforts in non-fiction. I originally had begun to post non-fiction merely to write more, to get in the habit, the routine of setting aside time and getting to work. Maybe I need to rethink my goals, my dreams; maybe expand my horizons.

I allowed myself this freedom of thought and let it brood about my head as I love to do, and came up with the idea of writing a non-fiction work; perhaps a book. That's when the negative thoughts kicked in, as I had expected:

• A non-fiction book? Really?
  
• A non-fiction book from someone undecorated academically?
• Who do you think you are, thinking you can write a book, a non-fiction book, on such a diverse and detailed subject matter?
• Could someone who struggles as much as you do really think you could tell, advise anyone else on finding their path, their voice and the inner strength to allow themselves accept the freedom to think for themselves?
• What do you really have that would be new, or useful to anyone either beginning or on their journey? Anything?
  

Yeah. That's just the tip of the iceberg. However, I let the negative thoughts arise and accepted them as another perspective, my own inner Devil's Advocate. I can't say I didn't struggle with the shear volume of negative thoughts, but I did my best and even typed out some very basic notes in the midst of the storm on what I wanted to accomplish in a non-fiction work. What I produced surprised me a little, and helped calmed the Devil inside, allowing me to let the idea ferment even more over the last couple of days.

Tonight as I was watching something about Kilauea on PBS, I decided to see if I could generate chapter titles I could use as a guide, or a mini layout. Eight chapter titles emerged, slimming to seven, but something even better happened: I began to add notes to the chapter titles, beginning to build up my mini outline in to almost a full blown outline! I became optimistic about this project, thinking I might actually be able to pull it off, however, selling it to get published could be an entirely different beast. There is always self-publishing, I can't forget about all my options.

So, while there is a lot of work ahead of me I am excited by the idea. I have had a very trying, intense, and at times distressing journey thus far and I feel sharing my experiences and how I have been able to gain a more frequent centered self, and even have quick, fleeting moments of the closest thing I can call nirvana. It is a grand commitment and lot of work, at times seemingly impossible and at other times coming with little or no effort, but possible for all. It doesn't begin yesterday or tomorrow, all we truly have is this very moment; past and future are properly placed in correct perspective.

More notes on progress I am sure will follow on this "little" project.