Lately I have been sleeping even more crappy than normal. I wake up constantly; probably every hour. I have been training myself to NOT look at the clock every time I awake as that just leads to more frustration and even less sleep. But I know it hasn't been long since I awoke last and all I want to do is just stay asleep!
Have I sought help? No.
Do I really want help? Not sure.
Am I crazy? Debatable.
I am thinking when I do fall asleep, I fall into a deep sleep as I have fantastic dreams and dreaming that intensely requires REM sleep. They are colorful, full of action, dialogue, people, smells, sounds. Sure, I could be so sleep deprived that they are in fact hallucinations, total delusions; or perhaps I am having a late onset of Schizophrenia, psychotic episodes?
Either way, I rather enjoy the places my mind takes me, the things that happen, the excitement, the humor, the wicked imagery that erupts from my imagination. Now, if I could just translate these experiences into words...
I am not so sure this crappier than normal crappy sleep phase is all bad. It doesn't interfere with living a productive, stable life. I hold down a decent job; work a part time job of my choice and dollar amount; am responsible in paying my mortgage; my wife hasn't wanted to commit me yet (I don't think anyway); I can think straight; I am not as irritable as one would think. So there is an up side, but I am not sure how much longer I can maintain such a schedule!
Oh well, life is short and reality is relative. And yes, there is always a story in there some where.
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